Mama-San Already Knew

The Mama-san knew before everyone.

Before the girlfriend in Germany. Before the other girl in the next soi. Usually before the man himself.

She knew because men explain their secrets loudly after three beers, and women explain theirs quietly before work.

When Steve arrived at the bar with a new woman from Kata, the staff became unusually interested in their phones.

Steve had been seeing Dao for six weeks.

He had never called it exclusive.

He had, however, behaved offended whenever Dao spoke to another customer, which is how exclusivity is often declared without using the word.

Dao was upstairs getting ready.

The Mama-san saw Steve first.

Within seconds, she moved him to the far end of the bar. She sent one waitress upstairs. She told another to delay Dao. She placed a menu upright on the counter, creating a visual barrier that would have impressed military planners.

Steve noticed nothing.

Men often describe the Mama-san as the person who takes bar fines.

This is like describing air-traffic control as someone who watches planes.

For eleven minutes, she controlled entrances, messages, drink orders and three competing versions of the truth.

Then Steve’s new companion went to the bathroom.

Dao came downstairs.

They saw each other immediately.

Steve began explaining.

Dao began shouting.

The new woman returned and joined in with impressive speed.

The Mama-san sighed, removed three breakable glasses from the counter and moved the payment terminal somewhere safe.

The relationship was beyond rescue.

The bar, however, remained fully operational.